Rami and Bassam: Pope Francis shared our pain
By Francesca Sabatinelli and Joseph Tulloch
Rami Elhalan is an Israeli Jew whose 13-year-old daughter, Smadar, was killed in a suicide bombing in Jerusalem in 1997.
Bassim Aramin, on the other hand, is a Palestinian Muslim whose 10-year-old daughter, Abir, was killed by an Israeli soldier outside her school in 2007.
The two men are now firm friends, and are dedicated to advocating for peace in Israel and Palestine.
Earlier on Wednesday, they met with Pope Francis ahead of the weekly General Audience in the Vatican's Paul VI Hall.
After the audience, they described that encounter in an interview with Vatican News’ Francesca Sabatinelli.
Meeting with the Pope
“I didn’t expect it to be so personal,” said Mr. Elhalan. “He hugged us, and when we showed him the picture of the girls, he almost cried. He was deeply touched… The whole meeting was so merciful, so human. We talked about the fact that I'm a Jew and he's a Muslim and [the Pope's] a Christian, and we are all humans, and we can be brothers, and he asked us to pray for him. It was unbelievable.”
“It was a big surprise for us, to be honest,” added Mr. Aramin. “We expected to shake his hand, but not that he would call us for a private meeting. I was very inspired. It was very touching… I said to him: It's as Jesus said, love your enemy. He's [meaning Elhalan] my enemy, and we love each other. We asked him to pray for a free Palestine and for peace between the Israelis and the Palestinians.”
The Pope’s call for peace
In the interview, both fathers praised Pope Francis’ efforts to put an end to the Israel-Hamas war in Gaza. The Pope has been calling for a ceasefire in Gaza since October 27, 2023, longer than almost any other world leader.
“He’s very brave,” said Mr. Aramin, “and he's the only very clear voice speaking of peace and an end to these atrocities. We look at this meeting as the highest respect possible for us; that he was able to listen to a very, very sad story and identify with our pain. We really respect it, and we really are grateful for his attitude.”
It is vital, Mr. Elhanan stressed, that voices for peace continue to be heard.
“I'm the son of a Holocaust survivor,” he noted. “Eighty years ago, when they took my grandparents to the ovens, the free and civilized world stood to the side, never lifting one finger. And today, while these atrocities in Gaza are taking place, the free and civilized world is still standing aside. Standing aside while a crime is being committed is also a crime. And we expect everyone—from the last person to the Pope—not to stand aside.”
'The girls are standing behind us, pushing us forward'
Both men also discussed how their memories of their daughters encourage them to persist in their work for peace.
Mr. Elhanan’s daughter, Smadar, was fourteen years old when she was killed. “She was very beautiful,” he said. “She was an excellent student; she was a swimmer; she was a dancer; she played the piano. Everybody used to call her ‘The Princess’, and I miss her very much.”
Speaking of his own daughter, Abir, who was killed when she was ten, Aramin suggested that “when we lose someone, we say that he was the best, he was this, he was that. [Abir] was a very ordinary girl. But she was my daughter.”
“Your son or your daughter,” he added, “is your heart. And you always feel your heart, so you always feel this pain. That’s our motivation to continue with what we are doing: our pain. We believe Smadar and Abir are standing behind us, pushing us forward, urging us not to keep silent.”
“This,” said Mr. Elhalan, “is another way of using our pain. Pain gives you energy, nuclear energy. You can use it in order to bring darkness and destruction and pain and death to people, or you can use it in order to bring light and warmth and hope. The girls are standing behind us, pushing us forward.”
The prospect of peace
The bereaved fathers also emphasised the importance of never giving up the fight for peace.
“We always say,” stressed Mr. Aramin, “that the Palestinians didn't kill six million Israelis. And the Israelis haven’t killed seven million Palestinians, yet. But there is a German ambassador in Tel Aviv, and there is an Israeli ambassador in Berlin. After four years of the Holocaust, there was a full relationship between Germany and Israel. That means we can do it, too.”
“I feel that I change people's minds and hearts,” said Mr. Elhalan. “I feel that, after every lecture, if there is only one kid, Israeli or Palestinian, who nods his head in acceptance, I have saved one drop of blood. In Judaism, one drop of blood is the whole world.”
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