International Womens Day: Ogada - a woman of great courage.
Sr Oluwakemi Akinleye fsp – Vatican City.
The journey towards an International Women’s Day began in the 1900s in New York and some European cities but a definite date was only agreed upon in 1910 during the second International Conference of Working Women held in Copenhagen, Denmark. The first ever International Women’s Day celebrations took place in 1911. Therefore, 2011 was the centenary celebrations of the IWD.
Since 1975, the United Nations has come up with an annual theme for the celebration.
Many women today are enjoying the fruit of this day, a journey started by some courageous women who in the past, have borne the brunt for just being women in society. Yet, there are still millions of women who are illiterate, abused, deprived of a decent home and without the financial means to fend for their families. One such woman is Ogada.
A happy home and overnight change
This is the true story of Ogada, a Nigerian woman who lived in Port Harcourt. We have changed her name and city to protect her true identity.
Now 32 years old, Ogada married young and was blessed with three children, 2 boys and a girl. She was very hardworking and ran a small food business. Her husband was a lawyer. Both of them were living happily as a couple until things suddenly turned sour in their relationship.
Ogada first noticed that he started coming home late and condemned her for every little mistake she made. He became so unloving and abusive towards her and stopped giving her money for the upkeep of the family. Ogada endured it all in silence and started supporting the family from her meagre earnings.
The new wife
One day, her husband came home with another woman and introduced her to Ogada and the children as his new wife. This was shocking news to all! Later that evening, he asked Ogada to move her things out of their matrimonial bedroom and after some days, out of the house.
It was so heartbreaking for Ogada. She was thrown out of her home just like that! Where would she go? It was all so sudden and too much for her.
Ogada slept outside the gate of their house for a night before moving into a friend’s apartment. Her blood pressure shot-up and eventually she had a nervous breakdown. It all seemed like a bad dream but it was real. She was now homeless, without her family and no energy to continue with her foos business. She was hospitalized for two weeks and when her husband was informed, he did not bother to check on her. Her children were not allowed to leave the house or to visit their mother.
Desperation and redemption
While in the hospital, Ogada’s relatives and friends came to know about her plight. It broke everyone’s heart. Ogada herself had many questions to ask and found no answers. She was even tempted to commit suicide, to end it all but deep down she knew that was not the right path.
It was not the case that she did not give birth to a male child for her husband. She had two sons and a daughter. She was hardworking and not a financial burden to him. She tried to be as loving a wife and mother as she could be. What did she do wrong for her husband to have treated her so badly? Her pain and shame were deep.
Ogada’s story is one of thousands that still happen today in the year 2024 in Africa and elsewhere.
On a whim, a man can end a marriage and there is very little a woman can do about it. This is common, especially for marriages contracted under customary or traditional law. Protections for women are next to zero. Society often assumes that women, such as Ogada, must have done something serious to deserve the treatment. Fortunately, for Ogada, her relatives and friends were able to support her and help her move on with life again. It took time and she had to go through counselling, deal with issues of stigma and embark on a renewed relationship with God and reconciling herself with the reality of a failed marriage.
WUCWO: Women sowing seeds of peace
In the meantime, commemorating IWD 2924, Vice President for the Africa Region of WUCWO, (World Union of Catholic Women's Organisations), Ms Evaline Malisa Ntenga has highlighted this year’s theme of, Inspire Inclusion: Women Sowing Seeds of Peace and Cultivating Encounter. She called upon women in Africa and elsewhere to be protagonists of peace and environmental awareness in society.
“Women can sow seeds of peace within families and communities, fostering dialogue, empathy, and understanding. Our individual actions contribute to the collective effort of building a more inclusive and harmonious world," said Ms Ntenga.
She continued, "Our role as stewards of the environment is vital. Climate change and environmental degradation threaten life on our planet, making it our sacred duty to protect and preserve the Earth for future generations. Taking action to reduce our carbon footprint and advocate for sustainable practices is crucial."
Ms Ntenga has further advocated for the creation of spaces that embrace diversity and platforms that are open to international dialogue.
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