2024.08.19 Meeting Rimini

Israelis and Palestinians: 'Future depends on respect for each other'

As the Rimini Meeting draws to a close, Rami Elhanan, an Israeli, and Bassam Aramin, a Palestinian, share their stories of losing their daughters in the decades-long conflict in the Holy Land, calling for reconciliation to transcend the war between Israel and Hamas.

By Benedetta Capelli - Rimini

The photos of Abir and Smadar are projected on the stage at the Rimini Meeting. These two young girls resemble each other in the freshness of their youth, both with tied-back hair and deep gazes.

Smadar, 13, was killed by a Palestinian suicide bomber in central Jerusalem, and Abir, 10, was fatally shot outside her school by a young Israeli soldier. Their tragic, violent, and inexplicable fates are part of the larger Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

Their families, like many others, grieved and suffered, but today they bear witness to peace and reconciliation.

Their fathers, Rami Elhanan and Bassam Aramin, have been active members of "The Parents Circle" for years, an association founded in 1995 by Isaac Frankenthal, whose son Arik was kidnapped and killed by terrorists affiliated with Hamas.

On Friday, August 23, they took the stage at the Meeting to present the book by Colum McCann, author of the novel "Apeirogon," which tells the story of their encounter, their recognition of each other's pain, and their commitment to working for a different future.

It was one of the most touching meetings among the 140 events that animated the week-long gathering of Communion and Liberation, representing the search for the essential, the theme and heart of many reflections, conversations, and encounters.

Bassam Aramin (L) and Rami Elhanan (R) on stage in Rimini
Bassam Aramin (L) and Rami Elhanan (R) on stage in Rimini

From hatred to forgiveness

Bassam Aramin, a Palestinian, recalled the moment when his perspective changed.

"I was in prison and wanted to enjoy myself by watching a movie about the Holocaust. For me, it was a kind of revenge; I wanted to see others being tortured and killed, but instead, I started crying. I realized that these were innocent people: this film, 25 years later, led me to write my thesis on the Holocaust to understand the fear present in the Jewish mentality," he said.

Knowing your enemy means beginning to understand them, Bassam noted. It is the first step toward sitting together and talking.

Being Palestinian is not easy, especially under Israeli occupation, and this must end, he said, to stop the killing.

"Hamas," Aramin explained, "does not represent the Palestinian people but is part of the Palestinians. Oppression creates resistance, and this situation hasn't changed in decades; it only creates more suffering, more victims. The Israeli government must recognize the Palestinians' right to self-determination."

Cracks in the wall

Rami Elhanan, an Israeli, reflects on fraternity.

"To express love," he said, "you don't have to experience loss to understand; you don't need to be in our place. Many parents who have gone through what we have seek revenge. There are angry people trapped in a cycle of violence; others die alone, but we are here, we are real, we are a concrete example."

Rami speaks of the astonishment of many Israeli and Palestinian children when he and Bassam share their message of friendship and respect in schools.

"They look at us wide-eyed, it's like the ground is shaking, like entering the mouth of an active volcano: a river of blood flows between our two nations, and often everything changes when they hear us call each other brothers, when I say a few words in Arabic and Bassam speaks in Hebrew," he said. "It's like watching and hearing the cracks in a wall crumble as the light breaks through."

Respect is essential

Both Rami and Bassam vividly recall their meeting with Pope Francis in the Vatican on March 27, 2024, and his emotional reaction when he saw the photos of their daughters.

Concluding the event in Rimini, Rami Elhanan states that he has no reason to love Hamas.

"Hamas killed my daughter," he said. Yet, he emphasized that what happened on October 7 has brought the Israeli-Palestinian issue back into the world's attention.

"I don't know the solution, but I know that our future together depends on one word: respect!" Respect, Rami said, begins with the recognition of the Palestinian state. "End the occupation and turn a new page in our history."

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25 August 2024, 12:10